some one to talk to

[Willow Deadsun Leahy]

I started watching DBP only a few days ago I need something to clam my mind after a fight I had with my mom.... I find talking like this is better then face to face with ppl I will never meet. It's easy to say things I think... well any way maybe with that said I should start at the beginning I hope not to make to meny mistakes so that you all can really read it for what it is and not it spelling cuse yeah I suck with spelling. but any whys here goes...

when I was small about 7 I had already had a step father. his name was John my sister Casey was born and growing and things started becomeing bad... My mom was always at work she was trying to put him though school. After a wail I would come home to a noise in the house after school at first I did not know what it was. One day I came home and he was on the couch with nothing on and a women that was there till a little before my mom came home, she was under him he looked up at me I was scared I just stood there I did not knwo what to do. He was yelling I did not know what he was saying I droped my bag and ran out the door back to the park away far away. At the time the park was the place that seemed forever to get to but once there it was safe... there I stayed till my mom came home I dont know what time it was I was so yoong time was never a real thing for me still is not real for me...... my mom came to swing next to me she was such a good pursen then I dont know what happoned..... I coul dnot tell here.... Soon John started beating me soon he started takeing me to meth house or what ever you call them I hope never to see once again I meet a girl there she played the flute she would take me in to a room when all the grown ups where doing things little girls should never see....... once she was not there and I had to pee but Jon saw e first I remeber he grabed me by my hair and started to drag me to a chair he was laughing then he put a needle in my I screamed and screamed the girls name May as loud as I could she was grown up well as grown up as a teen could be she could save me righ ...she did ot come I dont remeber what happon just I wok in a hospital my mom looking at me kissing me good bye she had to go to work and I was going home she said Jonh looked at me....... my 8 brith day my mom could only go in late she gave me a hugg and then a kiss and lft me with my new books ah book that is how I left this world though words and still do in a way...8 After she left I was in my room and he came in smiling saying that I was a big girl now he touched me I tryed to back a way but he would not let me he force me to hole him as he strip my cloths off I was not sure what was going on just that i need to do what he tould me to and that if a fough I wuld get hurt but once I had noghint on I had to gfight but he only pulled a belt he started hitting me with it across my bare flesh down there...i was so alone i did not know what to do any more so I cryed but he coved my mouth good girls dont cry i dont remember much after that i know he left and i felt cold what had i done i went to my books to leave what i was to go some where else be some one for just a little bit i did not notice for a time that I was crying

I think I will stop there I though I could get it all out but I think I should take it more slow now yeah I should stop make a nother one a nother day and g o like that when I can thank yo u for reading I dont exspet any thing really this is just so I can get it out

[Willow Deadsun Leahy]

I was watching #6 this is what that was supose to be me comeing to trums but I still can only go so far before I cant see through tears or type cuse my hands are sahking and my spelling gets worse and I just want to be ok with all of it I just cant thought I knew could it seems that no matter where I go I am alone I try not to be I really do but no matter where I go I will be alone I try not to be but then I just make a fool of myself I try hard but face to face just scares the hell out of me I am no longer sure of what to do let alone how to started I though if I started with words then it would be alright and I could just let it all go but then more words that fill this white blank sheet the more I want to run so far away I am no longer sure what to do any more or if any one cares it always so lonelly here when even slepp leaves me to go find a nother I ma not sure any longer how I should start or stoip or even try maybe be I should stop and breath no that made no senne let me try again I need to puse my fingers are getting ahead of me again how to go on what dulls pain not laughs not cuts not blood not yelling not drinking not danceing writeing what make it stop even for a little bit that ine #6 remendis me that there is a way I just need to find it but it get so hard to look after a wail sometimes it better just no to try and mayeb it will all just go away but even I know thats not how it works I wish it was but is not the yell still eco in my head from time to time I wish they would go away but at the same time I wish they stay the keep me compene a friend so to say well maybe../ I am not sure any more realy but I hope to find some where where I dont have to run maybe

[Not The FBI]

First, let me welcome you to the site. There are a lot of great people here and I am sure you can connect with someone easily.

Now, I sincerely hope that what plagued you before is not still plaguing you. This kind of thing is probably the worst thing I could ever imagine and I wish it upon no one no matter what that person has ever done. It is a sad thing to know that this is happening. I also have some personal demons that I am dealing with but I don't like to talk about it much. I think I have only told a small handful of people what has happened. I am glad that you had the bravery to share this with me and everyone else. It is people like you that give courage to the people so broken by what has happened that they may come forward just as you have and share their experiences in life and inspire another.

[Willow Deadsun Leahy]

I want to thank you I stared watching DBP and well I though no one here will ever meet me so why not and if they do then maybe not for a harmful rezone and I beleave that though I am not brave I just hope for a place to talk and let others know that I am here to talk with any and every one if they are willing infact this is my Email [e-mail]
only becuse if we ban together then the dark is not lonely any more you know ^^

[Not The FBI]

That is very true.

[Jesse Cowell]

I'm glad you are getting something out the project Willow. Life can be terrible sometimes, but I like to believe that there is a positive way to move forward for the things to come. I hope you can find some peace in all the craziness. I really do.

-Jes

[Willow Deadsun Leahy]

thank you. I love DBP it has help. and I will over come,... thank you